So Kim Kardashian: Hollywood is an app that exists (here on Google Play, as well).  The premise of the game is that you are new to Hollywood and by meeting Kim Kardashian, you are suddenly welcome to a world of gaming the players to instantly become famous.  Naturally.

You work at a clothing store, and Kim comes by at closing, asking you to basically stay open for her diva-like needs.  So you do, and you’re on the fast-track to stardom.  ’cause Kim has the hookup with everyone, guys.  You’re apparently so fabulous that she asks you to stop by a photo shoot with her later.

Hitching a ride on the bus, you go from one job to the next, expending your energy on meaningless tasks.  You apparently don’t have to complete any/all of the work in any particular “challenge”, you just have to show up.  And if that’s not a commentary on the world of Hollywood, I don’t know what is.

Recently, I schmoozed with a stylist, buying some of her boots for Kim’s store to score brownie points with her promoter boyfriend.  Then, I made an appearance at a nightclub on the promise that I’d shill some vodka for him.  Naturally, there was an opportunity to catfight with my supposed enemy, a blonde socialite. Hmm.  You follow all the celeb gossip Twitter feeds, and they alert you to your rising D-list fame.  To do the most schmoozing (and to unlock cool clothing and accessories), you can buy K star points.  The app is otherwise free to play, you just have to wait forever for energy to replenish.

You’re encouraged to date and flirt around for fame, which feels way icky.  Interestingly, you can be gay/bisexual in this game without any apparent comment on the matter, which is cool.

The whole game feels weird, exploitative and icky.  If this is Kim’s Hollywood, it plays like fame is just an ass-kissing away.  For her, I’m sure it’s an accurate reality–aside from the $15 plane ticket to Miami.  For anyone else, this will seem equal parts laughable and depressing.