Y’all know the drill, right? The Fortune Cookie Soap Box is $19.99 quarterly and features a smattering of specially-made bath and body products from the Fortune Cookie Soap Company. They’re always adorable. Bonus? Every box comes with a $10 credit for the FCS shop. If you’re a frequent buyer of indie bath products, I truly believe this is an awesome deal.

The Overall: I LOVE this theme, and I usually love their fall boxes, but this had a few misses for me. I know I’m a bit of a rough customer when it comes to bath and body products because I don’t tolerate a lot of scents. Still, I remain a huge fan of this subscription. It’s just such a delight to try the products, and they’re ones I can easily use up or give away.

• Buttercup Shampoo: This has the alarming shade of dayglow yellow of many toys of my 90s youth, but the scent is much less aggressive than the hue would suggest. On the nose, I get a very warm scent that’s very faintly sweet. It’s like faint whiffs of a baked good smelled through a grandmother’s perfume, but in the best way. The consistency is a bit odd, simultaneously too runny and too gloopy to feel like a very upscale shampoo to me. I think they could work on that a bit.
• Mostly Dead Whipped Cream: I don’t know how to feel about this. It smells different every time I pick it up. The first time I opened it, I was like YUM OMG YES OKAY, like a toasty baked pastry drizzled with honey. When I handed it to my roommate, she said it smelled like feet. When I gave it a second whiff, I detected a strong pang of Doritos. Yikes. Now, it has the same sickening acrid sweetness that I hated in their winter Whipped Cream. Rubbing it on, I get the wonderful pastry smell I loved. The initial wear brings up all that acrid sweet smell, then fades out to more of a warm vanilla musk. It’s weird.
• Drop. Your. Sword. Fortune Cookie Soap: The look of this is super cute, but this glitter, y’all. It’s got to go. It got absolutely everywhere in my life. It appeared on my friends’ faces after I opened the box, even though I was certain I hadn’t touched them. It’s a plague of glitter. The little sword stabbing the soap is darling. The scent is lovely, like very clean, bright apples with a backing warmth and a tiny whiff of effervescence. (My fortune was “Contents may contain Iocaine powder…” Yikes!)
• Prepare to Die OCD Hand Sanitizer: I’m not a huge fan of glitter in a hand sanitizer, and this has it in spades. That said, it’s a great fall scent. Warm and reminiscent of a baked oatmeal cookie with lots of warm spice and faint sweetness. I think I’ll be using this daily. The glitter plague continues.
• True Love Facial Cleansing Oil: I absolutely will not be using this to “cleanse” my face. It’s far too scented to imagine having even the littlest remnant of this on my face. That said? I love it as a perfume oil. A lovely sweet melony citrus with a bit of floral backing.
• Mawiage Scented Cotton Ball: My boyfriend was like WTF is this? and I can’t argue too much. It’s like a third of a cotton ball with only the faintest whiff of the scent. It’s a lovely idea, but I’m not sure I can really tell you anything at all about the scent I’m supposed to be testing out.
• Pit of Despair Steam Me Up, Scotty!: These are so hard to judge because the scent is always very sharp. I definitely get the lemongrass and plumeria. That said, I think this would make me sneeze if I used it as a shower steamer.
• Inconceivable! Perfume Oil: This third dram vial is killing me with miniature cuteness. The scent wears a little sweet on me. I get the scent of pear tempered with amber and fall woods. The vanilla whipped cream definitely makes an appearance. Overall? The effect wavers between a Bath & Body Works concoction and Play-Doh.
• Knight Cream Facial Moisturizer: This is supposed to be unscented, and I’ll disagree somewhat. I definitely get a scent, whether that’s just chemicals or what. The formula is okay.