Beauty Review

A quick rundown of some things I’ve used lately (for all both of you who care.)

Wet n Wild Fast Dry Nail Color in Ebony Hates Chris $1 ish – First, let me address the name of this color.  I’m guessing it’s a reference to the show, Everybody Hates Chris?  And it’s black.  This is awkward for me.  It’s a weird trend to name nail polishes after TV shows, anyway, but this is pretty weird.

Moving on.  This polish comes with a flat brush that supposed to speed up the application.  The brush, to be frank, sucks.  It’s too stiff and ends up poking bald spots into the polish that’s already been applied when you go in for the next swipe.  The polish itself is thick and actually fast drying (another nail polish trend: “fast drying” that dries at regular speed.)  For a buck or so, it’s a nice polish.  It chipped pretty badly after a couple days of wear, but I didn’t use a topcoat or anything.  If you could sub in another brush, I think this would be a winner.  With a new name.  Seriously.

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil $19 – I got this in covet.  The website says it’s a peacock green, but really, it feels darker and more green than what’s pictured.  It’s so dark that it almost passes as a black eye liner.  I use it in my waterline and it stays pretty well throughout the day.  It promises to be smudge-free after 30 seconds, but I call BS.  When worn on my eyes, I can smudge it at pretty much any time of day.  Which I’ve done.  At work.

I touch my face a lot.

It really is one of the creamiest eye pencils I’ve used, and it would make an awesome eyeshadow substitute.  Is it worth twenty bucks?  Ummmm.  I love the colour payoff, but I feel like the price tag is a little steep.  They’re famous for bundling their blacks, browns and blues with other products, so try to get it for free when you can.  If you want something very funky, splurging on one of the cool colours might be worth your while.

Dermstore Lipquench $12 – I don’t like this.  It tastes bad.  It’s hard to squeeze.  It feels vaguely stingy.  It smells nice and has a great non-sticky shine.  But I don’t like this.  Especially not for the price point.

When you squeeze the tube with all your might, a little pink worm of emollient-looking lip stuff squeezes out of the black, plastic applicator.  Push it on and it feels creamy and vaguely greasy at first.  Blot it in, and it feels lovely and moisturizing.  Then the… feel of it sets in.  It’s not really painful the way other lip-plumping products are (this promises a fuller lip.)  You’re just sort of aware of it.  Which, for me, negates the lack of stickiness.  My ideal lip gloss lets me forget it’s even there.

Though the stuff itself is slightly pink, it doesn’t offer any sort of colour and it offers very little in the way of shine.  As for any sort of lasting moisturizing properties, none really to report.  I kept reaching for this, even though it sort of leaked an acidic taste in my mouth.

ELF Essentials Lipstick $1 – Elf had this great promo code (retailmenot) that lets you get 10 free dollar items from the elf website for free with a $20-someodd purchase.  Given their track record as a cruelty-free company and cheap-cheap-cheapness, I decided to give them a try.  I got this lipstick in Charming and Captivating (gag me.)  First, one IS more pinky and one is more orangey, but I’ll be damned if I can ever tell them apart when I’m raking through my makeup.

But second, if I were to sum this review up in two words, I’d go with “Um, no.”  They’re sort of chalky and clumpy.  They remind me of the sort of thing I would’ve toted around in pink and purple plastic in the 90s.  Captivating is a definite offender.  It reaches the status of bad Gaga drag.  It’s chalky, orangey-peach and costumey.

ELF Mineral Foundation $5 – This, however, I can’t recommend enough.  I live for this stuff.  It’s the only thing keeping the world from pushing me beneath a bridge to take care of unruly goats.  It’s a small pot, but I don’t use a lot.  I just brush a bit on and move on with my day.  It keeps my face pretty matte throughout the day and I’m continually amazed by its coverage.  It’s not going to cure things that concealer ought to take care of, but it tones down the redness in my cheeks, nose and chin.  It even does a bit of heavy lifting in the under-eye area.

The key factor in winning my heart forever was my skin’s reaction to this shtuff.  I’m not a makeup hound.  I don’t wear much.  And I’m bad about taking it off in a timely manner.  So when I decided to go with a mineral foundation, I just assumed my face would freak out.  Not so.  This has been awesome.  +++++ TRANSACTION WOULD BUY AGAIN

2 thoughts on “Beauty Review

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