Loose

I’m loosing the notion that love has to be grandiose.That it moves in broad gestures and flitting grinsand the sweeping magic of surprises.I’m unclenching my fists from the hem of hope’s skirts,letting myself slide back down toward earth,stopping my saddling of clouds andthe promise I might find hidden in a breathcaught.  I’m unraveling the apron [...]

Self-Worth

I wish I could feel self-worth.  I feel valueless.  I feel like a disconnected cloud of pieces and parts that are here to be taken and used.  I can’t quite connect to the notion that someone may genuinely, really love me, without ulterior motive or aim.  But then I feel it and I have to [...]

Internalized

I internalize everything. Every ounce of the stress and anxiety around me goes straight to my soul.  I take every reaction and every offhanded mention as truth.  I pull every ounce of upset around me up on my shoulders and I bear it.  I assume that it’s all my fault, anyway. I deserve punishment. When [...]

Apart

The marks you left are already fading, faint yellow traces of our clutching and writhing.  As I step into the shower, the scent of you washes down my face and I inhale the very last bit of you before it can be replaced with distance.  I smile as I discover little hairs and crumbles of [...]

2007: Tripping

            Red lights snaking, sashaying in a curious sort of S-shape along the parched black pavement, everything ahead looked like glowing embers on the asphalt’s dying fires.  The sky was a rainbow of dusk, from reds to oranges and greens and the bluest of blues overhead, peppered with stars.  The sun was in its last [...]

Fever

My head feels like I’ve been skullfucked, and all I want is human warmth.Here, in limbo, I wait, with no shelter from feral lies and glowering.There is just the sound of my own breathing, ragged, wracked with chills,in terrible harmony with the sound that drifts through the papery walls.I’m dressed in a cold that I [...]