Fall Food Reviews

Hiram Walker Pumpkin Spice Schnapps ($9.49 at our local liquor mart): This is a tiny bit oily and an alarming shade of orange (I honestly thought the bottle was orange and was surprised when I poured it out in the glass!)  This was really yummy to me.  I can’t imagine just drinking a ton of it on its own–it has that dry mouthfeel that many spice-flavoured products do–but it’s not cloying or fakey tasting.  I tried dropping this in some apple cider and I didn’t love it.  It tasted very buttery over the acid of the cider.  I’m still trying to figure out a good cocktail to use this in.  I’m going to try hot cocoa next.

Hood Pumpkin EggNog ($3.50ish at Kroger): THIS STUFF.  Imagine you were making a pumpkin pie and you were like–screw it–so you put the filling in the blender with some ice cream.  That’s what this is like.  It’s very smooth, very creamy and very pumpkiny.  It contains actual pumpkin!

Twizzler’s Caramel Apple ($3ish at Wal-Mart): The bag smelled very strongly of green apple candy, so I was very hopeful.  The green twizzlers with caramel filling have an appearance that’s a little off putting.  The Twizzler doesn’t have much flavour and is very soft.  The caramel is soft but has a sugar crunch to it.  The taste and texture is reminiscent of Cowtails.  I just didn’t like these, but my boyfriend really did.

Mama Walker’s Maple Bacon Schapps ($9.50ish at our local liquor mart): Going into this stuff, I didn’t hold out much hope.  Fake bacon flavour is an abomination and paired with fake maple, FOR-GET-IT.  This really surprised me!  The flavour leans more on maple and tastes much more like syrup than Mrs. Butterworth’s manages!  The bacon is more of a smoky aftertaste.  This gets a thumbs-up from me!

M&Ms Seasonal Variety Review: Candy Apple

It’s about that time, right?  Time for another seasonal M&Ms offering and time for lots of faux apple and pumpkin flavoured stuff.  So lo and behold… M&Ms Candy Apple variety!

I purchased a bag at Wal-Mart for $2.35 (or so).  Upon opening, there wasn’t much of a smell.  These are sized a bit like the peanut butter M&Ms, but irregular.  They’re red and darker red, much like the Valentine’s Day chocolate covered cherry variety.

The faux apple flavouring is pleasant and a perfectly fine bedmate for the M&Ms signature faux chocolate flavour (ooh, burn!)  Other seasonal M&Ms seem to hang around on my tongue, but these didn’t seem to–that’s actually wonderfully refreshing, as far as M&Ms go!  Some other reviews report detecting a cinnamon flavour, but I think that’s more expectation and icky artificial colouring than actual ingredient (M&Ms always have a bit of a burn to me if I suck on them.  Bleck!)  My bag was cold from being transported on top of cold stuff, and that was actually really pleasant.  If you’re going to grab a bag, I recommend keeping them in the fridge.

The TL;DR Tastes a little like fake apple flavour.  Not bad.

Would I buy another bag?  I kind of liked them, but the size was a real turn-off.

What I Learned About Getting Famous from the Kim Kardashian App

So Kim Kardashian: Hollywood is an app that exists (here on Google Play, as well).  The premise of the game is that you are new to Hollywood and by meeting Kim Kardashian, you are suddenly welcome to a world of gaming the players to instantly become famous.  Naturally.

You work at a clothing store, and Kim comes by at closing, asking you to basically stay open for her diva-like needs.  So you do, and you’re on the fast-track to stardom.  ’cause Kim has the hookup with everyone, guys.  You’re apparently so fabulous that she asks you to stop by a photo shoot with her later.

Hitching a ride on the bus, you go from one job to the next, expending your energy on meaningless tasks.  You apparently don’t have to complete any/all of the work in any particular “challenge”, you just have to show up.  And if that’s not a commentary on the world of Hollywood, I don’t know what is.

Recently, I schmoozed with a stylist, buying some of her boots for Kim’s store to score brownie points with her promoter boyfriend.  Then, I made an appearance at a nightclub on the promise that I’d shill some vodka for him.  Naturally, there was an opportunity to catfight with my supposed enemy, a blonde socialite. Hmm.  You follow all the celeb gossip Twitter feeds, and they alert you to your rising D-list fame.  To do the most schmoozing (and to unlock cool clothing and accessories), you can buy K star points.  The app is otherwise free to play, you just have to wait forever for energy to replenish.

You’re encouraged to date and flirt around for fame, which feels way icky.  Interestingly, you can be gay/bisexual in this game without any apparent comment on the matter, which is cool.

The whole game feels weird, exploitative and icky.  If this is Kim’s Hollywood, it plays like fame is just an ass-kissing away.  For her, I’m sure it’s an accurate reality–aside from the $15 plane ticket to Miami.  For anyone else, this will seem equal parts laughable and depressing.

CARROT Fit App Review

So CARROT is essentially the GLaDOS of to-do lists.  I decided to download both the to-do list and their new CARROT Fit, a very snarky fitness app along the same vein.  I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the app.

It begins by asking you to enter your weight.  It first guesses you at 600+ pounds.  Har har.  You enter your actual weight and her response is “LOL”.  For some reason, the male avatar options are Male, Gentleman and Brony while the female or other avatar options include Female, Sheep and Brick Wall.  CARROT mocks you if you choose anything other than generic Male or Female–the Brony is an instant Game Over.  Both the Male and Female avatars are very fat.  They pant and sweat a lot.

CARROT tells you if you use the module to lose weight, she’ll be pleased.  But if you “blimp up”, she’ll be upset.  Okay, CARROT, let’s do this.

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